20w2d

Last night I had a dream that I was at a play put on by dd's school.  I got tired of waiting for her to come on so I took a break and went and helped make baby baskets.  Once I was done with that I returned and there had some kids in her class performing, but not her.  After that last performance the show was over.  I realized then I had missed seeing dd perform because I was too impatient to wait and instead decided to do this baby stuff to help past the time until it was her turn. 

I think this dream is a big sign that I need to watch what I am doing and not forget dd with this new baby coming.  I don't think I am doing that - in fact I think the opposite - most of the time I forget I am pregnant because I am so busy dealing with dd.  However, likely once the baby gets here I will need to watch this.

In other news, I just got rid of all my left over ivf drugs.  I placed the ad yesterday for the 2nd time - first time was a few weeks ago, but the stupid site never posted it.  This morning I had 2 emails in my inbox.  One was from someone 4 hours away asking if I would sell them at a very reduced price if she came to pick them up.  Since I really didn't want to be bothered with mailing stuff, I agreed.  Throughout the day I got phonecalls from all over the US, but I never answered.

Anyways, I was really nervous about doing this, but we really needed the money and I really want this meds to go to use to help someone.  However, both me and dh couldn't shake this bad feeling we had.  So in order to make myself feel better I decided to research this women.  The women told me a sob story about how she has just been diagnosised with cancer and now has to cycle before having chemo and radiation.  I should know better than to believe a story like that, but I give people the benefit of the doubt.

 I figured I would find out nothing at all by googling this person's email and phone number, or at most that they are a good normal person.  Well turns out I was wrong.  Appartently this woman is a known scammer on many sites with a bunch of different allias which she uses to buy meds for cheap or free and then resell them for a big profit. 

I couldn't believe that I actually felt guilty doing what I did with my left over meds when what this woman is doing is way way worse and not only is she selling meds once, but on a continuous basis. 
I can't believe that there are people out there like that that would do such a thing to infertile couples, not to mention lying about having cancer.