You know how they say things come in three and it always seem to occur that way.
I had no house calls for most of June and then 3 in these two days. Then on ff there were a couple of women that found out their dh's were cheating on them. I ended up making a blunt statement last night to the one woman since she didn't know what to do and found he had went from sending a nude picture to sexting for weeks to now sleeping together the past few weeks. Everyone gave very bland statements of "I'm sorry, thinking of you", meanwhile I said duh, of course he is sleeping with her and who knows what else, but I am sure it isn't just for 2 weeks (that he is just saying to try and cover his ass). I personally hold the belief that "once a cheater, always a cheater". Ya there may be the occasional person that gets round up in the heat of a moment and doesn't something they regret, but this isn't what we are talking about here. If someone has repeatly slept and sent dirty texts and pictures to someone for weeks and weeks (and likely even longer, though they won't admit to it because they will only admit to a little bit at a time) then they not only cheated once, but continuously made the choice to keep this relationship going and cheat on their spouse and family. These people don't change since they have shown repeatily that they don't care. Anyways, now I'm blanded as the bad person for saying things how I see them.
So why do I say this here? I just received a call from a friend of mine mainly about her dog. Anyways, we got talking since we hadn't talked much for the last few months since I put her other dog down at the end of March. Anyways, she says the dreaded words that we IF's hate "I have some news". So automatically my mind goes into thinking she is going to tell me she is pregnant. Her youngest is 3.5 years and I know she had some IF issues trying to conceive him - did clomid and iui, but ended up getting pregnant naturally. She is in her early 40's and with a IF history I knew pregnancy was unlikely, but not impossible. She then tells me that her dh of 13 years is gone. He cheated on her with his highschool sweetheart. I was shocked. I have met her dh many times and he never seemed the type to do something like this. Appartently he has been chatting with her for the last 5 years. So now I have become a concellour for spouses that get cheated on. My friend is still in the stage where she will take him back if he comes back to her and I understand that feeling. No one wants there marriage to end, but this guy is not going to change. The fact that he choses to leave his wife of that many years of marriage and his two sons to be with an old flame shows how much of a low life he is and how he has never and will never get over her. I really hope he is happy because he has hurt many people over this. She then tells me that this isn't his first cheating episode, that he cheated on this ex girlfriend before with another girl when he was younger. This just shows you how cheaters don't change. If someone can do something like that it is very hard for them to be in a totally committed relationship and I know this.
Many times people like to blame the noncheating spouse saying they didn't do this or that enough and that is why the person ended up cheating. This is BS! If this was the case dh would have cheated on me a long time ago. When I was pregnant we didn't have sex for a year, dh never cheated (unless you count looking at porn). Currently we haven't had sex since mid April due to cycling and differing work schedules. In fact we couldn't even be together before ER this cycle so on trigger day I told him to jack off and then even called him on the way to take dd to her therapies to make sure he had done it (yes not very romatic, but needs to be done). I don't make dinner for dh, our house is a mess 24/7, and I don't wear sexy clothing for him. Has my dh ever cheated - NO. Even though he has every excuse in the book to do so, he doesn't just like I would never think about doing something like that to him. When you cheat you don't only hurt your spouse, but also everyone else around you. My friend has a 10yo son. That poor boy is old enough to understand what is going on and now he has to live with the fact his father did this to them.
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