The witch is here

That's right yesterdays red spotting turned into a medium flow this morning.  It is over.
Just waiting until 8:30 so I can call the nurse and ask if I can do my beta tomorrow instead of Friday.
Not like it will make much of a deal now since I will probably have to wait until next Friday to from my RE about wtf to do next since they only meet on Thursdays, but at least I can save myself a crinone and 2 estrace pills.  I know they won't let me stop them before the beta.

And just to make sure this isn't pregnancy bleeding I did 2 hpt this morning and got ghost lines on both.  Yes I guess even frer have ghost lines now so just to upset women who are desparately ttc.  Most normal people won't even look for ghost lines so they probably don't think it is a big deal, but for us women that desparately want to see 2 lines it really wraps with our heads.  You would think spending over $4 for a test that it can show you a stalk white negative.  Guess those $tree tests were not lying all these days.

Surprisely I am handling this bfn okay.  Yes it does suck, yes I wish it was a bfp so we wouldn't have to do this again, but I knew this was coming.  Back in March the psychic told me June was my month.  I know many people don't put much faith in internet baby psychics but this women has been right for my 2 pregnancies on sex and month.  So going into my first 2 ivfs I knew they would work.  This time I knew before starting this cycle it would fail.  April is not June.  I tried to ignore this and tell myself maybe she was wrong and I will get my bfp in April, but nope.  Of course this means if the next cycle fails I will be a complete mess because I have been looking forward to my June bfp for months now.  Also this will be our last chance at cycling before our insurance renews and we really can't afford to pay for another deducible because I still have bills from this one left to be paid.

Just pissed off that we have to deal with this crap and debt for something everyone else gets for free minus the few bucks it costs them to buy a hpt.